Posted by: Andrew | April 17, 2010

silent, upon a peak in darien

Other titles considered:

  • You Can’t Stop The Beat
  • Taking The Long Way
  • Not with a Whimper but a Bang
  • Man in the Mirror

This project has been a near indescribable experience.  However, I’ve never been at a loss for words so I’ll gladly describe.  First, let’s do some fun technical stuff:

It seems so foreign to go back and read my FIRST BLOG.  The project was a very spur of the moment decision and I had no idea what to expect or really even what shape this blog would take.  It has been an undertaking for sure.  Not only did I have to write to someone every day, but I also had to blog and reply to those recipients kind enough to respond to my messages.  It took up a large chunk of time each night and while I’ll be glad to have some free time back, I’m certainly going to miss it.  Who knew I had 100 people with a 100 stories to share?!  That was my big concern at the beginning of this project.  I knew I easily had a list of 100 people I could write to, but I wasn’t sure I had enough stories to make each blog post interesting.  Though some posts were shorter than others, I am glad (and surprised) to have published 100 solid posts.

Was the goal achieved though?  After all, this was a challenge with a specific prize in mind.  I was doing one thing once a day for one hundred days to achieve the broad goal of somehow making myself a better person. To be honest, at the beginning I didn’t really see exactly how this could benefit me personally.  I just felt like it was a good thing to do.  However, sitting at my computer on Day 101 I realize, in concrete terms, how I have been bettered.  This project challenged my assumptions about people just as I was attempting to challenge theirs.  There were recipients who I was certain would be unsupportive who accepted me wholeheartedly and recipients who I thought would be welcoming who disapproved.  Beyond that, the very fact that I am calling today Day 101 is a step in a better direction.  Though my journey from here may not take the form of a daily blog, I see today as the constant continuation of what little I can do to help achieve equality.

It’s not just me though.  I’ve witnessed so much support and activism from other allies through this project.  I’ve received emails from people telling me how they are making changes in their behavior to stand up for equality.  I’ve seen people publicizing Queer the Census, National Day of Silence, LGBT news stories, etc. to stand up for equality.  There are even people who have dedicated themselves to the 30 Days of YouKnowAGay to stand up for equality.  I will update this blog for 30 more days so participants can comment on their journey or you can go to the YouKnowAGay Challenge page where some are using their own blog to update!  I want to thank everyone so much for visiting, commenting and supporting me throughout this blog.   Sometimes we don’t realize what effect our words or actions have on other people, but hopefully through this project, you can see that they can have a profound impact.

Two of the fiercest allies that I know are my parents.  Former President and VP of their local PFLAG, they have been an active part in the lives of many LGBT youth and their parents.  My mom was invited to participate and today served as a panelist for the State of the State Public Policy Conference for Equality Texas.  Their activism is inspiring to me.  I told my parents that I thought I was gay when I was 10 years old (my mom thinks I was 9).  Only because I was upset and distraught did my parents comfort me by saying that I was at a curious age and that it didn’t necessarily mean I was gay.  They were supportive – I just wasn’t ready.  It would take another 12 years for me to finally come out (again).  As I sit here typing this conclusion, I can only imagine how dismayed my 10-year-old self would be to discover that I’m not only comfortable with myself but that I’m proud proud proud of who I am.  So proud that I’ve been harassing people for 100 days now and broadcasting it over the Interwebs :-)

Thank you again to everyone who has been a part of this project.  It has been an unexpected blessing and so personally rewarding.  Now it is time to continue the righteous fight for equality.



  1. I am at the State of The State and your mom just plugged you and your blog… Thank you for doing what you do.

    Lisa Scheps
    Executive Director
    Transgender Education Network of Texas

  2. I’m at equality Texas conf and your mom is amazing. I will follow this blog. I teach elem spec ed in Killeen tx and I’m out. Glad to know you are out there!

  3. I had the privilege of meeting your parents today at the Equality Texas “State of the State” conference. They are both really fantastic people. When I got home this blog was in my inbox because I have a google alert set to “Equality Texas”. Such Kismet! I felt I had to comment.

  4. So I did not want to mess up your anonymous listings or I would have posted this on my blog. Which was completely hilarious! I had forgotten about that! I do remember Mr. Waller getting mad at me at graduation for rooting for you during your commencement speech.
    So wow age 9? I wish I would have known that so I wouldn’t have thought that you might ask me to a homecoming dance! Geez, heart breaker, lol! I definitely do not follow politics like I should especially since living in 10 different states/countries in the past 6 years. I do have to say I’m extremely glad for what you have done because one of my good friends recently got kicked out of the Marine Corps for being gay. I just don’t understand, they will let a guy who has gotten multiple DWI’s, or who beats his wife, or is too fat to carry a weapon stay in. There needs to be a change!
    Okay, I don’t want to sound too loquacious… Good luck! If I ever get back to Texas we gotta do lunch!

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